28may09
I am really piss off.... wat de hell!!! I am only tat 1 sec late. I am only only tat 10 steps away from tat guy, he can enter de sch n i cant. I am de first to be late n i don intend to be late. Well... same thing happen, Ms Normala call n talk to my bro, she get very very angry n i can see tat she cares a lot cos she was one of de teacher who give me chance to get into express. I am very mad at tat time so i agrue wit her, i ask her when was de last time i late?? Is TWO MONTHS ago, it show tat i did put in effort to change n today is jus tat few sec. She say so wat is tat few sec, still late n she ask me do i wan a fair or a poor for my conduct jus because of late coming to sch.... She say tis is de 8th times i late n she can give me suspension right away but she say i give u one last final chance, i have already given u 2 warning letters so it is up to u to change. I can see tat she feel quite disappointed to see me cos i was once her best n outstanding students yet she see tis. I have no rights to say anything cos after all i still late. Just because i late, i miss de chance to walk up to de principle n get my netball champion trophy, i have to recieve it from my friend. Wat a big mistake...
Is so bad to see all tis happening... getting look down, get scolded, accept all de negative feedbacks, i am going crazy soon..... Wat r sch for ??? Do i have anyone who i can turn to??Who really understand me?? My classmates say, i tot u very clever cos u can come to express but when they see my result, everyone turn away... Teachers wan me to backup but how to ??? So wat if i am sad, can things change... I noe i have a chance but i am sry tat i don noe how to treasure it. I am a fool, stupid idiot, useless... I HATE MYSELF, I BLAME MYSELF
Is it going to be de end of me... can i still carry on. Is it a curse or something which i have to accept??? Studies, Family,Work, Money...... How to handle so many things at a time. When i finally have de courage to start again, only a few steps n i fall again. Can anyone understand how i feel, i wasn't like tat in de past... I WAN TO GO BACK!!!! I wan to have wat i once have but now i lose everything....nothing left. If i really can slp forever then it would be de best thing cos my world r no longer tat beautiful anymore. I noe i am a coward cos i am avoiding it but things r always happening non-stop, i really cant take it anymore.